Weird Celebrity Baby Names
Celebrities always seem to have the most iconic names, like Jennifer Lawrence, Taylor Swift, and Tom Cruise. All these people have names that are just so easily recognizable, so why do celebrities keep naming their children such outlandish, weird names? Are they trying to set them up for failure? Imagine you're sitting in class during roll call, and you hear your teacher call out, “X Æ A-12 Musk?”
Did you know Nicolas Cage named his son “Kal-El Coppola”? And you wanna know the explanation? He just really likes Superman. I mean, why not name the poor kid Clark? I can understand wanting to name your kid after something you really like, but I don't understand the appeal of naming them something so obviously nerdy that they'll never be able to make the name their own—just the characters. And going back to X Æ A-12 Musk, in the state of Michigan, it isn't even legal to have numbers in your name. I mean, what does it even mean? You’ve got your "X," your "Æ," and then the number "A-12" just casually hanging out there like a whole math problem. I know Elon Musk is definitely lacking some brainpower, but come on—the man-made Tesla but couldn't give his son a comparable name?
When asked, Emily Kosbar, 11 said, “It’s just stupid, giving your kid a celebrity name. Giving them a name like that basically assigns them their life choices and puts them in the spotlight. It's just weird.”
There's also been a weird epidemic of celebrities naming their kids “Bear.” I know we’re the St. Joe Bears, but I didn't think it was an appealing baby name. Alicia Silverstone, most known for her role as Cher in Clueless, claimed the name Bear just “clicked” with her and that she loved it the second her husband suggested it. And I guess Kate Winslet (AKA Rose from Titanic) felt the same, as she named her son Bear as well.
Another thing about celebrities is that they refuse to spell their kids’ names correctly. Jason Lee named his son Pilot Inspektor—what kind of name even is that? Imagine having Dave from Alvin and the Chipmunks as your dad AND having the name Pilot Inspektor. As I write this, Grammarly is actively trying to correct the spelling. I just don't understand why you'd give your child such a horrible name and then feel the need to top it off by replacing the “C” with a “K.” You know those people who, instead of naming their kid Charlie like a normal person, choose to spell it like Kharleigh or something? Yeah, it's like that, but worse. It’s almost like they’re testing how much the child can endure before they snap.
Celebrity baby names only seem to be getting more stupid by the day. From numbers and symbols to names that sound like they belong to comic book characters, it’s clear that some celebrities are taking the idea of “being memorable” a bit too far. I just can't understand how you could be holding your newborn baby and say to yourself, “I'm going to name you—the child I carried for nine months—Peaches Honeyblossom Michelle Charlotte Angel Vanessa Geldof.”