Uninvited, Unhinged, and Wearing a Hat
Before 2003, the Cat in the Hat was perceived as a mischievous little cat with a genuine smile and a silly hat. He kept two little kids entertained with his games and tricks, and had children reading the book, wishing for his presence the next time they were stuck inside on a rainy day. Then Mike Myers destroyed that image and replaced it with this beaty-eyed cat whose pupils stared into the eyes of children and preyed on them.
The 2003 film “The Cat in the Hat,” based on Dr. Seuss's book, is classified as a “family/comedy.” We, however, think it fits more in the psycho-thriller or horror genre. Watching this as children was bad enough, but when rewatching, we were disgusted by the number of creepy jokes that flew over our heads as kids. We know Dr. Seuss wasn’t a good person, but even he would think this film is a monstrosity. For starters, he tells the kids he likes to sit on babies for free. Is this really the cute little character Dr. Seuss envisioned the Cat in the Hat would be? To us, he just sounds like a creep.
When finding reviews posted on the internet, we found an anonymous one posted on IMDb titled “Crap in a hat,” and with a name like this, we had to keep reading: “Mike Myers' Cat is probably the most annoying character to "grace" the screen in recent times. His voice/accent is terrible, and he laughs at his own jokes with an awful wheezing sound, which is about the only laughing I heard at the theater. Not even the kids liked this one, folks, and kids laugh at anything now.”
Additionally, he just looks freaky. He has two full rows of normal human teeth– something not even close to looking anatomically correct. He also has eyebrows that look like they were drawn on with a pencil, and gross-looking fur covering his skin. Whomever did the makeup for this film has clearly never seen a cat before.
When asked about why The Cat in the Hat haunts her, Ella Paweilski, 11, said, “I just don’t like him. He freaks me out. He breaks into their [the children’s] house and ruins everything.” We then got into the vile appearance of the cat– we would like to make it known that at this point in the interview, Ella got extremely pale, and a single tear rolled down her cheek: “His eyebrows–they’re not right. His face is all white, and his eyebrows are black and human. He has a cat nose and a human face. Like, at least be a full cat, you know.”
While “The Cat in the Hat” is arguably worse to look back on now, it definitely did a number on children's perspective of the Cat in the Hat when it first premiered. Director Bo Welch was aiming for the Cat in the Hat to make his way into audiences' hearts, but he somehow had better luck making his way into our nightmares. At the ripe age of 10, there was a solid month-long period where every single time I (Rose) went to bed, I had sleep paralysis of that stupid cat. I would much rather have insomnia and never sleep again than willingly choose to see that ugly excuse for a cat every. Single. Night.